Desirée Libengood ’06, Ed.D., is the Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences and has been teaching English at North Central University for eight years.
In the midst of their careers, Libengood and her husband, Lance Libengood ’05, felt a nudge telling them it was time to start a family. After attempts to start a family the traditional way, they felt God speaking to them again and at the age of 29 they adopted their first daughter who was 17 years old. Since she was a young girl, Desirée always knew that she wanted to adopt, and this was confirmation that this was how God was going to begin building their family. But this was just the beginning.
After their first daughter moved out, the Libengoods found themselves being empty-nesters at the young age of 30. They decided to go down the road of adoption again. After researching and taking everything into account, they decided on foster care adoption, in part because of the great need that exists in this area of adoption.
“There is a really deep need being met when you take older kids into your home and by starting a family through foster adoption,” Desirée said. “There are some families who adopt kids who are 18 years old to give them a family and a landing place in life.”
Presently, the Libengoods have a family of five children living at home with them—all under the age of six. After going through six adoptions, they have found that there are many mistaken notions people hold regarding foster care and adoption and see sharing their story as a way to help set the record straight when it comes to false beliefs about adoption.
Correcting false beliefs
False belief #1: Adopted kids are a mission field
Lance and Desirée see their kids and their family as a calling just as much as any other parents have a calling to raise children—biological or otherwise. “These are just our kids who we love and adore, just as much as any parent would with biological children. It’s a calling in the sense that we know our family is a kingdom family and to be used for God’s glory,” said Desirée.
There are so many needs in our own community. Desirée supports a non-profit called Reel Hope that creates videos of teens who are waiting for permanency. It has proven difficult to get into churches and start the conversation about this. Desirée believes caring for kids in our backyard who don’t have a home is one of the most important things we can do as a church. In fact, if one family from every church in America chose to foster to adopt, the adoption crisis would be completely solved.
False belief #2: Adopted kids are ‘broken kids’
Another misconception is that these are the “broken kids.” “The fact is, no matter where your kids come from, adoption is a trauma,” Desirée said. “Being taken from your biological parent is a trauma, but trauma does not make a kid broken. Kiddos placed in foster care are resilient, and we believe in restoration, these kids can thrive.”
False belief #3: Adoption is expensive and can take years
It is common to think that adoption is expensive and takes years before parents are able to adopt. This is typically true if parents are adopting from another country or waiting to adopt a newborn. The process of foster to adopt is actually free in the State of Minnesota and typically moves faster than out-of-country or newborn adoptions.
The Libengoods went through several rounds of interviews and home inspections before they were able to have kids placed in their home and this process took several months. Although the kids were living in their home, there is an interim period between being foster care parents and adoptive parents.
The Libengood family is full and fun and thriving. Desiree has so much knowledge to share about her family’s journey through adoption! This is just the first blog about adoption in a two-part series, so if you enjoyed this, be on the lookout for one more!
